Mylittle colorful life

Learning through the different shades of life

Welcome to my Blog

I’ve always wanted to write a blog, just never got around to doing it. I felt someone else had something better to say and there were too many voices online – actually it was me hiding behind my laziness to take the time to sit, reflect and write and also the fear of putting myself out there to be judged!

Starting this new phase of life as a mum I realised this was a journey that’s forever going to change me and my life is no longer for me but for this little person I’ve brought into this world. At that moment I decided I never want to tell her to do stuff or believe in things I never did or was too lazy to pursue. Plus there’s so much each day with her is unbelievable how much you have to learn and keep up with. So I’ve decided to sit, reflect and write no matter how chaotic things are. I’m in the process of learning the fine art of balancing wife, mum and career but I’m confident I’ll get it right after a bit of tweaks here and there.

This 7 months I’ve been home on maternity leave, I come to conclusion that my job is not who I am, I know I will be great without it, but it is another layer to me that makes my life interesting, it’s an additional avenue to create impact and influence beyond my private sphere of life, plus it pays the bills

So I don’t intend to be a stay at home mum, except I start my own business. So I plan to grow in my career and truly explore all there is within the corporate world. But in my mind, I’m not taking for granted that it would be easy – but it’s a road many strong women with great partners (and sometimes without) have gone and excelled at so I’m sure I’ll be just fine.

This blog for me is a where to have a conversation with the broader world and share my experience as I go along on this adventure. I’ve debated on how honest I should be – but I believe so much in authenticity – so here will be #mylittlecolorfullife as a wife, mum and career woman.

Featured post

Work-Mama Guilt

It’s bee ages since I blogged – tactfully reminded by my cousin aka “The Tacos Queen” last week Thursday. Obviously, life is busy but I’m learning to find or better still make a few moments just for me! No mum, wife, sister or friend – just Me! Sometimes that entails me locking myself up in the toilet to leaving my phone downstairs, while I’m upstairs or simply not bringing it out from my bag while commuting to & fro work. Today I figured I take my phone with me to my toilet hideout and write something instead.

It’s been a busy Easter holiday but it’s been great to be off work – no laptop or work phone made it to on our family trip to Cornwall

I’ve had a few things on my list to write about but now I can’t make up my mind – so I’ll go for the first thing in my head – Work-Mama Guilt! This Winter has been hard on us this year; Zoe has been up and down with the Flu. I would say in total she’s probably done over 3 weeks away, that’s excluding all the early pick-up we had to make because of nursery policy on temperature and vomiting.

Anyways Spring is finally here and we are all stronger than ever! Lol!

Well back to they days of unwell – I have to say it was not the easiest, because all you want to do is stay home and take care of your little one, but you know that means work load will pile up waiting for you. But you stay and nurse your child to health and then you fall ill yourself at the end of it and have to even take longer time off work for you to get better – it’s a crazy cycle!

I know family comes first – it doesn’t take away the feeling I’m letting others down or simply being judged for not being around or having to work double just to cover up the time you’ve been away. Comments like “Again” from colleagues when you are about to dash off early to pick up or when you send a text you can’t come in, has a whole new meaning. Well, it maybe just be the over dramatic part of my brain that perceives it that way. Whatever the case, I personally feel a tug between home and work during times like this. Especially when you’ve got much on your plate or you are leading on something important (which everything at work is not important and urgent – lol)

How have women before me dealt with this? How do they balance ambition and family. I know some say equal partnership with spouse – but even as equal as we are in our home it’s still not easy. Especially when you don’t have the luxury of having all the professional help at your finger tips.

But the thought of single mums studying, working and raising their kids at the same gives me the reality check I need when I start sulking to inspires me to do more. I can’t be slacking on this – no excuse. But most importantly, it makes me think about how far away we still are in creating an enabling work environment. Now I have to say upfront I’m as capitalist as they come and I constantly think about what it will mean for an employer. I feel there still isn’t sufficient data that supports flexible working proving greater return on investment to the employer. So as much as I want to stay here and go all flexi pls – I also want to be mindful of what it means to business. Now it doesn’t mean it should be an excuse not to invest in research or trials in finding a way that would work for business and employees. I guess things I never bothered about earlier on in my career are becoming more and more important to me with flexible working on top of that list. it simply means allowing me be as productive as possible but in my own space and not boxed within the office space 9 to 5 every day .

I know each life phase has its own requirement and I could feel differently when I’m older (with more money of course) and kids all grown but for now when I think about what a helping hand looks like – flexible working is top of my list.

In the meantime, how do I deal with my colliding world? I try and engage early, as much as possible reduce the element of surprise. Take turns with hubby when it unexpectedly happens, so it’s not just me. I’ve made my peace with the fact I’d have to put in the overtime to pick up and not fall behind at work. But most importantly- I block out everything when I’m with my kid – she gets my full attention no sharing with work.

It’s never 100% on the buck but it’s work in progress.

What’s your formula for work and kids?

The Joy of hearing & hearing by the Word of God

Living by faith is one of the most conscious act we as Christians are called to – it’s the everyday ordinary decisions that create extraordinary outcomes not necessarily in the way the world classifies what extraordinary should look like but it’s in the beauty of knowing that logically the outcome has been created by trust; unashamed unwavering trust in God.

We live in a world where there are so many things to occupy our attention, challenge our decision, tempt our hearts and truly shake the foundation of our faith. But in those moments standing on what you know is true means the hard work has been done before then.

“If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small. Proverbs‬ ‭24:10‬ ‭(AMPC‬)

In the last few years … I’ve gone through so much battle within my heart trying to deal with all the craziness life has thrown my way, dealing with lack, self-doubt/worth, trying to find meaning in the waiting and learning in the pain of failure. But over and over again I hear the voice that’s been my guide all through life – point me back to the basic, yet I battle because I feel I should be doing more 

“So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭10:17‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

The basic – Hear and be saved! Hear and believe, Hear and let faith rise. Hearing in this context is a conscious action to put everything & thought aside and focus. Funny faith doesn’t come by acting it’s by hearing and that is the basic I’ve been brought back to! Making time time to hear – to fill my heart with God’s word first and foremost before any need to act. Going back to the joy of listening – what comes to mind is the story of Mary & Martha (Luke 10:38-42). Martha super busy didn’t get why Jesus wasn’t upset with Mary just sitting at his feet listening. But he made it clear to her

“The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha! You worry and fuss about a lot of things. There’s only one thing you need. Mary has made the right choice, and that one thing will not be taken away from her.” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭10:41-42‬ 

The faith walk is a journey- definitely not a sprint and we grow as we go alongside other believers and the Holy Spirit. So it’s important that when it seem to feel all up in the air or when it’s all in order, we never forget the joy of “hearing and hearing through the word of God”. 
Today I had to remind myself of what I’ve heard and hear again because I know that when my heart is overwhelmed he is my calm and the wind in my sail when I need to find my way.

Why do I blog? 

Today I was asked why do you blog? And I said it’s a way to express myself …., etc along those lines. Then I was further asked why share it? Because I’ve learnt and still learn from other people’s journey and so I hope mine could help someone… and the conversation was cut short as she had to take a work call. But it did get me thinking beyond what I’ve come to tell myself – why do I share it. This was the first question I asked myself when I started blogging, because with sharing comes exposure to the world to pick at you in the quiet of their life (that’s what my dramatic mind conjures).

So why do I blog and why do I share? Its entirely selfish I have to say. I haven’t been consistent with blogging every week as I would love to (life with a kid is so not your own). But every time I do, I have to take the time to reflect, being mindful of every second of the moment I’m trying to describe or the thought or emotion I’m trying to convey. It makes me see things form a new vantage point which makes me act differently next time or make me appreciate what I have and my journey – most times I get a lightbulb moment! 

This process has also helped me open up in ways I never would before (not there yet, I have way too many mind blockers to work through). But venerability has never been my strongest attribute. I never understood why people would share their failures or struggles – go figure it out and move on, I would say to myself. So to an extent writing has made a tiny shift in getting me to the point where I feel it’s okay to struggle but it’s even better to overcome and going through that process and coming out at the other end is equally important. 

A TEDx talk by Ijeoma on Dismantling the Culture of Silence – touched on how we like to glorify survival but not the process of surviving. Nowadays, you also hear leaders talk about the process and not just the outcome, because we’ve come to realise the importance of sharing the story about the process and the power it can give to others as they navigate through life. The process of blogging challenges my ideas of failure and weakness even as I debate on what to share and what not to. I have to confess I’m just starting on this journey and being my biggest critic I’m constantly battling on how much to give that doesn’t feel like too much.

Obviously, discretion comes into play as I truly believe that what doesn’t edify shouldn’t have a place. And certain journey you are on needs to be kept to self till the right time to share. But the beauty of the world we live in now is the the opportunity it provides us to connect beyond your immediate sphere of influence. Justsayingmum recently blogged about being You and finding your voice and of being comfortable in your own story (paraphrased) which I found really helpful in thinking about why blog?
At the end of it all, my life journey is a tapestry of beauty, love, pain, growth, Grace, fun, joy and and mercy. And it will keep weaving to create its own perfect masterpiece and hopefully as I write it does add its own little value. 

Mama Guilt

I remember the first advice I got when I was pregnant, it was from a lovely couple who invited us for dinner. They told us “all you really can do is be a good enough parent”. There is no perfect parent! That struck me because I always had it in my little mind I’ll be the perfect mum, I guess I never really thought about what perfect would mean or look like and now perfection has a whole new different meaning – lol!

Mama guilt had never really caught up with me but recently I’ve been feeling like I’m constantly doing a lot of stuff wrong or just not the way I’d like it to be. So having to deal with Mama guilt rather then shrugging it off has been my focus for a few days now.

All of a sudden forgetting to brush her teeth in a day is a deal breaker for me. Her not liking the food I made, me not being on top of her skin regiment, giving her stuff she reacts to… I mean why has it all become a big issue now? 11 months into motherhood? I seem to be very much aware of my faults and 10 other ways I could have done things better. I’ve dealt with guilt before but Mama guilt is of a different kind. It tugs at your core and potential and that really has a way of hitting you hard.

So today I allowed Zoe sleep a little longer even though I knew it meant me most likely missing my train. But I just couldn’t get myself to wake her up to get ready for nursery. Just that little act made me feel so much better  though I had to run like a panting fish out of water  to make my train after dropping her off.

While on my commute it dawned on me; the little moments of Zen is what matters … it must not all be perfect every time and I will not always be on my A-game and balancing mum and job would mean missing bed time more that I would love to. But when possible, I need to enjoy those moments of Zen – enjoying the pure bliss of the moment and laughing out loud and hard where possible.

Mama guilt is real but like any other thing I’ve come to learn the power you give it is what it uses to take a hold of you. And for me being a Christian it’s important I remind my self I’m not the all the “Sufficient One” God is and having that faith and anchor makes the journey way better.

Would love to know How do you deal with Mama or Papa guilt?

Lesson on Resilience from my 10 month old Daughter

To say I’ve been stressed is a bit of an understatement – I feel like I have gone round the stress block a couple of times, gone under back on top and somehow squashed somewhere in the middle. A lot it personally induced (classic!) and others from the different elements of life. Hard work has never scared me but oh my, work, baby plus study is a new a whole new kind of “hard work”. It takes puts to test your believe about your own strength – lol! Every day I have a new-found respect for the women in my life who’s gone down this road ahead of me and did an incredible job!

So in the beauty of trying to find order to my seemingly chaotic mind, I decided this weekend to be really mindful of what I read, watch and listen to. Being particular about guarding my heart and mind, making sure I don’t expose myself to anything that already makes me feel worse or seemingly think this is the new normal – I have also been very present in every moment, especially with my daughter. It was not to find a solution and suddenly find a new me, it was simply to focus on what was most important, shut everything else out and simply be. It’s been the most restful weekend even in the midst of all the stuff I’ve had to do.

I guess the clarity of mind helps you see more that’s happening around you and boy I’m marvelled at how much Zoe has grown in 10 months. But most importantly is how much I’ve learnt from her this weekend on resilience.

Resilience doesn’t lose its power because you stop for a moment. The ability to step away from something that seems impossible and come back to it again with fresh eyes saves you from the agony of being burnt out by just the constant push/going at it. She’s been trying new things as she’s found the wonder of standing up on her own and trying to walk. Her fascination has been on a box in the living room which she’s been trying to get to and it’s been challenging. But at her 1st, 2nd or even 10th attempt when she doesn’t get it all figured out, I see her move away to play with something else. She continues with other things and then goes back to try again. And when I least expect it she finally figures out how to get the box off the dinning chair and have unrestricted access to its content.

I almost feel like every time she crawls away there’s a new piece of information her brain process that adds value or insight the next time she goes for it until finally it all adds up to her finding the right solution. I’m sure if she was stuck at it all day she would have gone through the different stages of anger, frustration and self-doubt. As ordinary as it might sound, for me it was revealing just watching her use the same process over and over for everything else. And in that moment when I saw the box open and the content scattered all over the floor, it clicked when they say “first you don’t succeed, pick yourself up and try again” – you can decide how you rise up to start again. You can sit up, breathe, dust the dirt off and give yourself a little time to process and then try again.

I have got one more day with her before its back to work and I intend to play as much as I can in our makeshift tent, talk in baby language all day and constantly put back her cloths and diapers back into the drawer, for some reason its super fun for her to empty out her drawer 🙂

Happy holiday tomorrow if you are part of the lucky ones.

The Dry Skin Saga

After spending most of yesterday at the hospital, I had enough time to think about what I wanted to write next, unfortunately my phone battery was dead so it pretty much was all up in my head until this morning. I knew I had to write about my battle with Zoe’s dry skin (eczema, dermatitis,), you name it, we’ve seen it.

If someone had told me this will be something I would have to deal with, I wouldn’t have believed in a million years! Aside from chicken pox, I rarely have any skin issues and I don’t look after my skin half as much as I should. I guess I took it for granted my daughter will have flawless skin (which she’s still set to have as I hear they grow out of this phase).

Zoe came out all flaky after spending 2 weeks extra in my tummy, so the first few weeks it was more dry and flaky skin we had to contend with and being the typical Nigerian mum I was ready with my Shea-butter at my side but to my surprise, my little miss reacted to Shea-butter so we had to stop and moved over to Oilatum. After 4 weeks of using it, her skin was still getting dryer and flakier and she had a breakout of rashes which started to itch her badly; making for an uncomfortable mix. Another visit to the GP and we were advised to start using Aveeno and Bath her once every week (we were doing once every other week at this point).

Aveeno worked wonders, brought moisture back to her skin and helped with the rashes – it was great, I had found my magic portion. By month 5 she had this bad skin irritation at the back of her head, down her neck and for the first few weeks the GP misdiagnosed it, we were treating eczema with Cetraben, when later we found it was an infection and we were later prescribed Canesten HC (to be used lightly and sparingly). After a lot of back and forth I stopped using it as it wasn’t getting any better – it did help with the itching I have to say but that was about it.

Fast forward on month later till date she broke out with a bad case of eczema, it was so bad that it covered her had like an extra thick rough layer of skin and she was itching like a junkie. It gradually spread down to her legs and trunk. I have never felt more helpless a mum, it drives me crazy. Anyways, we went back to the GP and they asked we stop using Aveeno and prescribed, Aqueous cream (for bathing as well). After 2 weeks I was back to the GP (saw a different one this time) as there was no improvement. We then moved to Zeroderm and Dermol for her bathing water and Hydrocortisone to be applied to affected areas.

The combination worked wonders for the first 2 weeks and but after that it came with full force; like nasty rebound effect. At this point, a couple of mums advised me to skip Hydrocortisone (not the best for black babies) and every mum seem to have something they used personally or a friend used when their baby had the same issue. I’ve also come to realise that in the UK a lot of Black babies suffer from excessive dry skin. I still can’t figure it out – Why? Some say is the water, my mum says it’s the air 🙂

We are 4 months into this journey and I’ve done more research on this than anything else I have in a very long time. I’ve also done a bit of trial and error to work out the perfect solution – below is my game plan for the next 3 months;

  • Continue bathing once a day (it helped dramatically with the dryness when we started), so I’ll keep at it with Dermol in her water to make it skin friendly
  • I’m going back to Aveeno (complete care set). Experimented with it for 2 days and I’ve seen way better result without a doubt
  • Warm rinse her laundry after every machine wash
  • Increase her veggies intake and cut down a bit on diary

Not a very long list, but let’s see how it goes for the next three months – I’ll keep you posted. If this gets us to the point of an itch-free, clear skin baby, that is a “Bigly Win”.

Random Morning Thought

It’s Good Friday and it’s been ages since I sat to write and today is a good day to write. It’s a holiday here in the UK and it’s quiet in my house. Hubby is asleep and same as Zoe whose been sleeping now for over 10 hours straight – yup the sleep Gini has been good to me. I’m currently listening to Havard Business Review podcast on Spotify on Emotional Agility. Oh I definitely need to get the book to read.

How do you overcome emotional labour (experiencing difficult situation) in the work place? According to the report there are two ways people deal with emotional labour – Bottling (push it aside and try to rationalise it) and Brooding (Over analysing and over obsesses around why things are not working) can either be done individually or co-breeding. Funny both have the same outcome which hinder your ability to solve the core problem!

Hmmmm… which am I? I’m definitely a Brooder for sure – who becomes a ticking time bomb. But I love the way the lady explains how your emotion takes total control of you; “your emotion has you hooked”. At the end of the day our power to choose between that space of emotional stimulus and action is critical.

As humans we have a minimum of 16,000 unspoken thoughts each day – wow! Imagine if our mouth opens up every time, what a freaking disaster that will be. But it’s also amazing that out of all those thoughts it’s just a few that takes hold of us and ends up controlling and influencing your day and decision. Do we give our thoughts too much power?

This has finally got me thinking about Zoe and how I manage conversations with her to ensure she understands her emotions are not bigger than who she is and can make decisions above them and push past them … hopefully I get this right!

Crazy how a podcast has totally derailed me from what I wanted to write –lol! Well I’ll leave my battle with Zoe’s dry skin for another post. I can hear someone crying which means I’m done writing. Let the day begin.

All this brings to mind the following scriptures;

“Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of life flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23 – GW Version)

“…. The things people say come from inside the” (Luke 6:45 –GW version)





Teething Nightmare

The last 3 weeks have been draining to say the least. Don’t get me wrong there have been great moments of joy but overall it’s been a little challenging dealing with all the teething drama.

Zoe started teething and without a doubt I was sure this time. There was no drooling involved just good old-fashioned cranky baby with burning fever, diarrhoea, loss of apatite and very swollen gums. My sweet baby was down! I personally thought this had to be something else; how does teeth popping out have such an effect on the rest of the body. But yup it was teething alright – thanks to an emergency A&E visit when her fever went over 40 degree. We were sent home to comfort our baby and wait it out. If you know me you know waiting isn’t my strongest virtue.

Calpol became the constant in our day – to be honest I wasn’t sure if it was helping much after day 4. But we stuck to it alongside other teething remedies and good old non-stop cuddling and cold water compress for her fever.

The  low apatite and restless sleeping got to me  as the lack of sleep was making my day at worker much harder. Also, we were just entering the space of her sleeping through the night and then this happened taking us backwards. Most importantly watching her move to an all formula milk diet (as she’s officially off breast milk) made me appreciate breastfeeding and how cost-effective it is.

Honestly my heart broke for her – I could only imagine how much pain she must have felt and that moved me to be extra loving! Any ways, we are out of the woods for now with one tiny tooth finally out. Not to sound ungrateful I was hoping after all that drama a minimum of 2 would pop out together. But we are enjoying our one tiny tooth for the moment and causing a lot of havoc with it.

I’m now well prepared for the next teething phase with a few learning from my recent experience

  • Be open to try different things when soothing teething pain – giving baby options to decide worked well for us. We explored, teething rings, cold teething keys, Sophie the Giraffe, cushion rolls (similar texture to stress balls), teething granules, cold veggie sticks just to name a few 🙂
  • Finger rub on the gum is golden – with clean fingers of course 
  • Be prepared for anything – from bum rash to explosive poo or even excessive coughing
  • Be patient with baby (if you are like me) this is a phase and it would soon be over
  • Don’t get burnt out – try to find little Zen moments to recharge. Use your support system as much as possible

What have you used to battle Teething pain/discomfort with  your baby?

International Women’s Day

Life happens is something you hear a lot and I have to say I’m truly beginning to understand what that means. It’s been awhile since I picked up my phone to write – life has been happening. However, today is one of those few days I don’t have a to-do list that eats up my “me time” during my morning commute to work. I sense it’s gonna be a good day x

Today is International Women’s day and all over the world Women will be celebrated, the female  agenda will be highlighted and pushed further in its journey while at the same time some women will cover their pain, bear the grunt of an unfair world, hope and dream of more. Yes that’s the world we live in – not balanced or perfect but made a little better by every good act.

I’ve never been a loud advocate but I am a supporter of many and today like any other day I believe in education for her, equal opportunity for her, good healthcare for her, protection and respect for her and most importantly celebration and delight in her. Being a mum makes me reflect on a few Women that have shaped me and challenged me.

I celebrate these women today! They may not be famous but they have strength unfathomable.

  • My mum: she’s the strongest and bravest woman I know. Her passion for her family, her desire for us to have more, her determination to stretch herself beyond believe to give us better has made me who I am today and compels me to be more for my daughter. She taught me to me to work hard, to live beyond a man and to trust my instinct.
  • My godmother: though she’s passed on, she was an entrepreneur extraordinaire – A teacher, baker, tailor, florist. Name it, she did it. She was a woman who paved her own way in life and lived full and loud. I loved the way she would boast about me – was a really good confidence booster!
  • My Literature teacher in secondary school (can’t remember her name for the life of me). I still can picture her really slim frame, her soft voice and deep eyes that held lots of untold story. She was the first person outside of my family I can clearly remember to tell me I was special and loved the way my mind processed worked. Just to impress her I read “The beautiful Ones are not yet born” by Ayi Kwei Armah and trust me at 15 that wasn’t an easy book to read and write a paper on.

My life is full of great women; from my Sister-in-laws, to friends from university, friends from church and work … their stories are full and colourful, their dreams are bold and inspiring.

Happy International Women’s day to you all and cheers to the journey x

Blog at

Up ↑