It’s bee ages since I blogged – tactfully reminded by my cousin aka “The Tacos Queen” last week Thursday. Obviously, life is busy but I’m learning to find or better still make a few moments just for me! No mum, wife, sister or friend – just Me! Sometimes that entails me locking myself up in the toilet to leaving my phone downstairs, while I’m upstairs or simply not bringing it out from my bag while commuting to & fro work. Today I figured I take my phone with me to my toilet hideout and write something instead.
It’s been a busy Easter holiday but it’s been great to be off work – no laptop or work phone made it to on our family trip to Cornwall
I’ve had a few things on my list to write about but now I can’t make up my mind – so I’ll go for the first thing in my head – Work-Mama Guilt! This Winter has been hard on us this year; Zoe has been up and down with the Flu. I would say in total she’s probably done over 3 weeks away, that’s excluding all the early pick-up we had to make because of nursery policy on temperature and vomiting.
Anyways Spring is finally here and we are all stronger than ever! Lol!
Well back to they days of unwell – I have to say it was not the easiest, because all you want to do is stay home and take care of your little one, but you know that means work load will pile up waiting for you. But you stay and nurse your child to health and then you fall ill yourself at the end of it and have to even take longer time off work for you to get better – it’s a crazy cycle!
I know family comes first – it doesn’t take away the feeling I’m letting others down or simply being judged for not being around or having to work double just to cover up the time you’ve been away. Comments like “Again” from colleagues when you are about to dash off early to pick up or when you send a text you can’t come in, has a whole new meaning. Well, it maybe just be the over dramatic part of my brain that perceives it that way. Whatever the case, I personally feel a tug between home and work during times like this. Especially when you’ve got much on your plate or you are leading on something important (which everything at work is not important and urgent – lol)
How have women before me dealt with this? How do they balance ambition and family. I know some say equal partnership with spouse – but even as equal as we are in our home it’s still not easy. Especially when you don’t have the luxury of having all the professional help at your finger tips.
But the thought of single mums studying, working and raising their kids at the same gives me the reality check I need when I start sulking to inspires me to do more. I can’t be slacking on this – no excuse. But most importantly, it makes me think about how far away we still are in creating an enabling work environment. Now I have to say upfront I’m as capitalist as they come and I constantly think about what it will mean for an employer. I feel there still isn’t sufficient data that supports flexible working proving greater return on investment to the employer. So as much as I want to stay here and go all flexi pls – I also want to be mindful of what it means to business. Now it doesn’t mean it should be an excuse not to invest in research or trials in finding a way that would work for business and employees. I guess things I never bothered about earlier on in my career are becoming more and more important to me with flexible working on top of that list. it simply means allowing me be as productive as possible but in my own space and not boxed within the office space 9 to 5 every day .
I know each life phase has its own requirement and I could feel differently when I’m older (with more money of course) and kids all grown but for now when I think about what a helping hand looks like – flexible working is top of my list.
In the meantime, how do I deal with my colliding world? I try and engage early, as much as possible reduce the element of surprise. Take turns with hubby when it unexpectedly happens, so it’s not just me. I’ve made my peace with the fact I’d have to put in the overtime to pick up and not fall behind at work. But most importantly- I block out everything when I’m with my kid – she gets my full attention no sharing with work.
It’s never 100% on the buck but it’s work in progress.
What’s your formula for work and kids?