My first week back at work reminds me of the first day I started with my company, the only difference is I know my way around and I’m less scared. I came back to my role still filled with my maternity cover so it’s been more of an ease back to work situation rather than a deep dive. Which I guess should be okay, but I’ve officially come to accept I love the pump and pace! Until I’m in it, all I want is some calm, lol (The human mind and our constant need for what we don’t have). Nonetheless, I’ve come to appreciate it.
So far I’ve found going back to work pretty okay – I haven’t been consumed with mummy mushiness of missing my little person and I’m pretty excited to get my teeth into something new and get consumed with work (I can so feel my workaholic self). To be honest work has come to be my little escape and I’m loving the time away. Zoe starts crèche in 2 days and I’m feeling a bit guilty leaving her with strangers for 10 hours during the day. I know I shouldn’t , I know she would settle in and love it, but I guess is that feeling of protectiveness and mummy love that always wants her close by so you know she’s okay at all times. Well, there isn’t much I can do so I’m marching on and embracing this new life totally and figuring the right balance which is the skill at having it all. If there is one thing though that makes my day worthwhile, is coming back to her and the pure joy and excitement on her face when she sees me walk through the door – for one week now that has been my moment of Zen!
My first week has also been full of forgetting stuff, it’s like I’ve forgotten how to properly pack for work; from failing to pack the suction part of my breast pump and having to express with my hands, to forgetting my glasses and having strained eyes all day and constantly forgetting my work pass. I swear something’s never change; while on maternity I was always forgetting stuff when packing for outings. More and more each day though, I’m beginning to realise a key part of slaying working mum has to be effective prepping and I have to truly ace this (in my own way of course).
Aside from forgetting important stuff, the commute has been truly gangster. Its takes me 2 hours from door to door, which is taking me awhile to get my head around it. To give a bit of context, before baby it took me 50 mins door to door from our former place to work so you can see why I feel the way I do. But I hear commuting is one of the true mark of a Londoner – so I guess I’m earning my stripes! So far I’m trying to look onto the positives; more time to catch up on my reading, morning devotionals, podcast and some comedic satire on American politics but I still feel the bite if I’m totally honest. I guess a time is coming where I won’t even think about it at all, I salute all the experienced commuters. I’ve thought of driving, (as I just passed my driving test, Yippee!) but honestly I don’t think I’ll like that either. I love the comfort and freedom the train gives me to relax before I’m thrown into world of work. Let’s see how it goes, I might feel otherwise after a while.
It seems I’m off to a good start and I’m enjoying using this chilled out time to catch up on what’s been happening since I left but also being inspired on what limits the external market is pushing. I feel like a new person, hopefully I don’t lose it. I need to protect it and see how much growth I can cramp in before baby no 2 🙂