I remember the first advice I got when I was pregnant, it was from a lovely couple who invited us for dinner. They told us “all you really can do is be a good enough parent”. There is no perfect parent! That struck me because I always had it in my little mind I’ll be the perfect mum, I guess I never really thought about what perfect would mean or look like and now perfection has a whole new different meaning – lol!
Mama guilt had never really caught up with me but recently I’ve been feeling like I’m constantly doing a lot of stuff wrong or just not the way I’d like it to be. So having to deal with Mama guilt rather then shrugging it off has been my focus for a few days now.
All of a sudden forgetting to brush her teeth in a day is a deal breaker for me. Her not liking the food I made, me not being on top of her skin regiment, giving her stuff she reacts to… I mean why has it all become a big issue now? 11 months into motherhood? I seem to be very much aware of my faults and 10 other ways I could have done things better. I’ve dealt with guilt before but Mama guilt is of a different kind. It tugs at your core and potential and that really has a way of hitting you hard.
So today I allowed Zoe sleep a little longer even though I knew it meant me most likely missing my train. But I just couldn’t get myself to wake her up to get ready for nursery. Just that little act made me feel so much better though I had to run like a panting fish out of water to make my train after dropping her off.
While on my commute it dawned on me; the little moments of Zen is what matters … it must not all be perfect every time and I will not always be on my A-game and balancing mum and job would mean missing bed time more that I would love to. But when possible, I need to enjoy those moments of Zen – enjoying the pure bliss of the moment and laughing out loud and hard where possible.
Mama guilt is real but like any other thing I’ve come to learn the power you give it is what it uses to take a hold of you. And for me being a Christian it’s important I remind my self I’m not the all the “Sufficient One” God is and having that faith and anchor makes the journey way better.
Would love to know How do you deal with Mama or Papa guilt?